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All over media shots of people around the globe, there is so much pain and fear in the eyes of the faces hiding in tunnels and temporary shelters. Deprived of sleep, food, and safety, and the worst is that the wounded and helpless don’t even participate in the violence and atrocities seen all over social media. But, in times of war and calamity causing a humanitarian and environmental crisis, the biggest danger to humanity is not only propaganda that supports specific political agendas, but the ignorance and complacency of those who are not directly implicated! Similarly, and globally, we are witnessing a breakdown in objectivity and spiritual consciousness in the midst of everyday lives, where people are satisfied to join in cynical media comments on world events, judging who is right and wrong, while content in their comfort at home. The same group of people are quick to cast moral verdicts on other issues like religious favouritism, gender-based issues, and racial partiality, but rarely if ever engage with a multicultural society that is complex with unique ethical paradigms. Lack of compassion, hopelessness, and the absence of a yearning for harmony and a better inclusive future for humanity all contribute more to the problem than resolution. What the world actually needs is for humanity to rise above this traditional state of mind, and show a united front that seeks solutions instead of being at War with the World. And it all starts with you and me, and in our private lives, we need to ask, when are we going to stop this conflict in ourselves at play, and start being at peace in the world? When are we going to stop looking for everything that is wrong in the world, in the lives of self and others, and start identifying what is right with life? Here is how I discovered how to live differently.
What is wrong, and what is right with the World?
There is much written about the offensive and controlling behaviour of people in authority, and the devastating effects of offensive attitudes. Many go through extensive traumatic experiences, experience loss and extended difficulties of lack, physical and emotional abuse, and depravity in various forms, mainly due to the direct implications of these behaviours and attitudes. Emotional difficulties, for example, that arise from things like childhood abuse, or other physical illnesses due to depravity, abandonment, or malnutrition, or physical accidents arising from lack of security and care, can foster a mind-set that is so absorbed in pessimism that we ditch the ability to recognise the beauty that the world has to offer. The inclination, however, that most changes lives are rooted in an aptitude, an attitudinal perspective that can be found in the minds of the most resilient people in the world, and often they are refugees. They live by the motto: “cast stones, and I will collect them and build a palace.” They just don’t allow themselves to plummet into despair, because they believe in the greater reality of possibilities out there. In my life-coaching practise and ministry, I have worked with many and helped create their life mission, with objectives and strategies to make their presence and activity in the world more effective and meaningful. And what I've seen has taught me that the most discouraging, disabling, and demotivating force in people's lives is an excessive focus on negative events. By overtly paying attention to the wrongs in the world and the failures we characterise in the efforts others make to do the best they can to survive, we stifle faith and hope. Yet, in celebrating what is right with the world, with your life, and because of that, any challenge you may face in life - the burden of the experience will dissipate and make room for greater possibilities to emerge, rather than being stuck wallowing in what is wrong with it.
We all have teachers in our lives, mentors we use to show us an example of what is possible. We also enjoy watching movies, or podcasts by inspirational people that encourage us to greater exploits. For me, the greatest inspiration is found not in words, but in the actions that people take to turn the most gruesome and traumatic experiences into the greater good of humanity. Most of them are not even aware that other people are watching closely, observing their actions to glean a measure of encouragement, and to copy the strategies employed to survive the harshest of circumstances. If ever I leave a legend behind, it would be the hope that I have unknowingly influenced others to become better leaders, and motivated courage to take greater chances, to strive for better ambitions, and to tackle the impossible and achieve the unfathomable dream. And what I have discovered working with people in destitute, who conquer and rise in the midst of the seemingly impossible, is how they change their perspectives on life during times of calamity, and use their dilemmas to find direction in life, and make a success of it. Through their eyes, they showed me that beauty, greatness and possibilities exist, even in the misfortune of what the world has to offer. And in the hope of leaving a glimmer of optimism, #me-too, have directed my efforts towards writing and having conversations with the destitute, hopeless, broken-hearted and forgotten normal, whom stand on the side-lines dreaming of greatness and a better future for them and their loved-ones. Instead of exposing offensiveness, and taking a stand on all the objectionable differences in the world, I have applied the winning strategy in writing and teaching about the greatness we want to see in the world, and are offering enabling workshops on the steps how we can get there, to cultivate Social Change. Do you find this notion strange, or do you still prefer to join the mania self-absorbed #metoo movement? Maybe you need to read a little bit further …
How to stop being at War with the World?
When people get stuck in their lives, activities and goals, mostly it is because they refuse to accept and believe something better is possible, until they see it realised first. Now the obvious is clear that what you focus on will expand, and the more you direct your efforts towards offensiveness in the world, the greater the bitterness and resentment debris that accumulate in your subconscious. And we also know that the accrual of negative emotions actually acts as a catalyst that draws negative events into your life. And the more you see and experience negative occurrences, the more you want to be at war with the World. That is, until you destroy all the things that offend you so that you can be safe. But that’s not how life works, for you won’t see wholeness until you first believe it is possible, and start looking, identifying and highlighting it in the world. So making it a bit more realistic in perspective, believing that anything is possible, opens your mind and viewpoint, and enables you to start identifying possibilities, and new opportunities. As a young student, for example, I struggled with acne, and my self-image tumbled. I felt I was ugly, that I was not good enough, and no-one would ever accept me and receive what I had to offer to the world. And before long, I thought human beings are ugly, out to get you, cannot be trusted, and are inertly evil. But Spirit challenged me to try and identify something beautiful or praiseworthy in every person I passed as I walked around on campus. Within three steps I had to identify, e.g. beautiful eyes, pretty hair, or smart clothes, confident walk, cheerfulness, a pretty smile, friendliness, whatever. And soon I was challenged to tell them, to not only observe, but to drop my shyness and to engage with others. What happened is, not only did it change my mind-set away from negativity, but it helped me to connect with others and build positive lives in the same way it helped me. Instead of looking at the world and other people as burdensome, dragging myself from one lecture to the next, I discovered an opportunity to meet new people, to learn more about life and how other people see life, and also the chance to encourage and compliment, and enrich the lives of those who silently struggled with the same.
If we start every job, every task, and assignment by celebrating what is right with the task at hand, by looking at the good in what we see, not at the inadequacies in ourselves and the things we don’t see, if we look for greatness other than what is wrong with it, the power underlying that outlook has the inclination to transform our lives. Our vision, attitude, and perspective control our awareness, and our perception becomes our reality. Celebrating what is right in the world cultivates room for beauty and helps you find purpose in life. It leaves room to accommodate other people’s passion for what they are doing, even if it doesn’t make sense or doesn’t agree with you. Imagine if we all had a vision that describes, in about six or eight words, an outlook on life that determines a better attitude and expectation towards challenges and tasks at hand. Because when the vision is positive, then passion, creativity, and joy will be there as well. All of a sudden, it is not about the struggle and hardships anymore, but recognising that it's the inner strength and determination, or unique beauty others display that also encourages and influences you to do more, to grow and to become better, to achieve more, and to dream the impossible dream. Every individual is an integral part of the beauty of life, and when we celebrate the best in people, the magic of life unfolds. We open ourselves up to being uniquely connected to an extension of ourselves in someone else. Instead of grappling with the shadow at play in the dynamics that frustrate us and which reflect intolerance towards the short-comings identified in ourselves through the lives of an offensive someone else, what is now reflected in these interactions is the potential for learning, growth, and expansion of love for yourself and the world.
Many people struggle with anxiety and depression during a pandemic, and find it difficult to remain focussed and positive while facing economic struggles, political uncertainty, even International conflict. With so much negative “News” floating around on Social Media, it is not strange that despondency and despair are so noticeable. Soaring hopelessness gives heed to procrastination, non-caringness, and even violent rage, exacerbated by an increase in substance abuse to escape from the negative overload experienced. How do we get out of this overwhelm? Here is what I did. The more I celebrated life’s beauty and lightness, and sought to find what is right in the World, the less I found myself at War with the World. When we shift our focus away from an unrealistic threat of scarcity and competition, and make room in our minds to agree with what nature is showing us, we will re-discover a balance. There are lots of opportunities for everyone to flourish and co-exist in a peaceful, creative environment where everyone can thrive. We don’t need to live in a competitive, adversarial mind-set that sees your neighbour, the other kind of gender and skin-colour, or the one doing the same kind of business as you, as a threat and opposition that needs to be outwitted and overturned, or segregated, so that you can feel safe. Living in a multicultural, global, inclusive society only expands the filters of our perception to enable us to identify the variety of beauty the world has to offer, if we are open enough to see it.
Do we chose to see the possibilities life has to offer, or do we select only mainstream propaganda and get intimidated by other worldly affairs as if they are knocking at your door? Yes, we know what is happening in Ukraine, Syria, Afghanistan and other war-stricken areas as well, and we know the sanctions against Russia will have detrimental economic consequences world-wide. But if we chose to live in a seeming threat paradigm as reality now, then the story that will play-off in our minds is only a dooms-day tomorrow scenario to control our reality today. And you forget that you are alive in a total different dimension now. And when things seem too overwhelming, remember that this too shall pass when you open-up to the possibilities and beauty that are presented to you now. Yet, if you chose to restrain and withhold yourself from the fun and enjoyment life has to offer now, then maybe we need to ask if the projected future reward for living so secluded and conditional is not also an unrealistic sci-fi movie seeking to create an Aryan race of exclusivism in this life now, without freedom and joy? Perception of apparent evil and the threat of pending punishment if you don’t follow the norm of your group will control your reality and deprive you of the opportunity to discover new possibilities now to live your dream. If you resist what is said here, of-course you won’t see a different reality until you try first. Is that not? Life is like a camera lens; the angle you choose will reflect the picture you frame created in your mind. Shifting the paradigm, the mind-set, and orientation towards what life has to offer may just change your life for the greater. Try it - it’s worth it. As you celebrate what is right with your world, the capacity to open-up to the possibilities, not scarcity and lack, but opportunity will emerge. No matter how bleak and desolate, dry and void a situation may seem – there is always another option available to explore. Then ask how open to possibility does your view of life and belief system allow you to be right now? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate and adjust outdated modes of operation and thinking, is it not?
When our hearts are open, the mind doesn’t approach life from the stance that you already know what the answer is to every problem, should be, or must be. When we seek what is right in our current limited experience of life, it becomes an explorative adventure that emanates in a transformative journey of expansion, growth and freedom, rather than a retreat to isolate yourself and build segregated limitations. Having an open-minded approach to every situation, means that you are solution focussed, and not fixated on problems. Celebrating what is right in the world, in your job, in relations, not only keeps us open to possibilities, but gives us energy. It attunes our minds to synchronicities and helps us to set positive intentions that draw support and inspiration like a magnet. And so will you draw like-minded people to you, who want to work with you, want to relate to you, and want to be part of the fun you experience. Start every day, every task, any conversation by asking what is exciting about this, or what is here to celebrate, and what is the very best this engagement, or task, or project has to offer. Then try to emphasise that and enhance the scope it offers, and get rid of everything else that causes negative distractions.
The power of a celebratory perspective changes the way we look at the world and can take us from hiding in the mainstream ordinary person to the exceptional, but we need to be willing to trust the process. To remain focussed and keep celebrating what is good in the world, instead of wallowing in what can go wrong, will trigger incredible things to happen. Just try, it’s worth it. Remember, it’s not only in the things we do, but also in whom we are. That is the difference between having success, and being significant. It is a subtle shift away from striving to be the best in the world, to being the best for the world. There are many examples of people that can show us how. They have taken what may seem to be weakness, or failure in the eyes of the world, and became the best for the world. It’s a balance about what you do and who you are, that keeps you from losing sight of the things that are truly important in life. When we celebrate the gift of life, and what is right with it, we don’t get side tract with shortcomings, or get entangled in comparisons with what should, or ought to be the outcome of life. It keeps our focus intently on the celebration of the moment, the process of engaging in the experience and what is good therein, and not the missing ingredient. It’s getting lost in the translation and becoming the poem, the melody and the dance, instead of doing it for the result it will elicit. It is celebrating being alive, and being life at the same time. It is to publish or broadcast the very best you have to offer, regardless of whether it is received or not. Simply because you are celebrating who you are.
In summery. When an element of limitation and cynicism appears in life, celebrate what is good in the situation. Repeat the process and soon the negative inclination will give head to positive outcomes, new energy will be there, and joy will come knocking on your door. Instead of starting out with emphasising what is wrong with a situation and putting steps in place to control it, or to eliminate the bad elements for fear that it would overwhelm, now, focus on what is right with it. Ask what positive contribution it can make to your life, and then strategize to enhance it. Negativity, fear, and anger deplete energy and soon you’ll be caught up in bitterness and depression. A celebratory attitude creates a life-force that says yes to life, that acknowledges struggles, but seeks to improve and grow instead of destroying anything that disagrees, and causes you to wallow in defeat. Celebrating what is working connects us with our passion and purpose. By celebrating the right, the good and beautiful in all situations, it gives us the energy to fix what is wrong. The right vision and mind-set keeps us open to possibilities to be more accepting of change, and accelerates the likelihood for greater things to come your way.
Should you feel this article speaks to your heart and you realise that you need assistance in changing your perception and mind-set, let’s set up a conversation and discuss what matters most. Should you still feel stuck, lost or confused, don’t worry, for the solutions offered by Meta-Life Coaching and the Life Improvement courses presented, are suitable for new adventurers, young entrepreneurs and oldies alike, and can be customised to meet every person’s needs. Book your FREE introductory Life-Coaching assessment session by sending me an email request, or contact Martin on 073 439 9060 to make an appointment. For more information, please see our website on Transformational Coaching and many other solutions that will help you create a positive future at: http://www.metalifecoaching.co.za/coaching.php.
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Trust to hear from you soon.
Dr Martin Brits
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