How to Stop - getting lost in the Wilderness of Life?
November 2021. Maybe at this moment you may feel lost in the wilderness of life – Then you need to read this. Some practical steps to find your way out of the endless cycle of dilemmas.
Stop feeling like a lost soul in the Wilderness of Life?
Sometimes, on the journey called life, we can FEEL like a lost soul caught on an endless journey of dilemmas. Ironically, this very feeling is something that is calling you to start doing something else that will bring back joy and passion. For some, the challenges and traumas they face are like a signpost that indicate a change in direction. We can say they need to catch the hint, or get the message that the Universe (God) is indicating that something is not aligned with the greater possibilities available for your life. Maybe, it’s telling you that something you are doing is blocking, or sabotaging your own opportunities to excel, and therefore they need to do some self-reflection or to get some professional guidance. Contradictory to the stories we want to believe, the reason many struggles and keep repeating the same old cycles of proverbially getting stuck in the mud, are precisely because they are not responding to the messages. So, by paying attention and returning to the prompts made by the Universe, it is possible to step out of the mud and embrace a new destiny. Does this sound exciting? The secret then, is to follow the steps discussed below. And when feeling confused and uncertain, to find a suitable guide qualified and able to help you reflect objectively on the barriers you experience, identify the hidden messages, and unravel the next steps for you to move forward.
Unfortunately, some people expect an external saviour to do the hard work for them. Like a knight in shining armour that needs to come along, and to magically transform their lives, as if you are a damsel locked up in a tower waiting to be rescued ... and then be taken to a corporate castle to scrub floors and do its crooking, oh sorry cooking. No, the secret is rather to find your own power and to excel in greatness, and to find your wings to fly. In today’s fast-paced and stressful world, we generally neglect to contemplate on what we really want to do, and where we ultimately want to be. For some, their life-circumstances become the limitations that prevent or block the path forward, and dreams easily dissipate in the cloud of social conditioning and #hashtag expectations. In spite of fashion to seek the easy way out, difficult roads, often lead to beautiful destinations. For, the stories we tell ourselves, and the self-centred attitude and demands we project, become the reasons why we cannot be all that we yearn for. It also reveals why patterns emerge from life experiences, in the repeated dilemmas we need to face so that we can discover our own true potential and purpose in life. Wise leaders, therefore, use experiential dilemmas for transformative learning, instead of demanding change and feeling sorry for themselves. Conscious leaders view challenges and difficulties as a friend that helps you identify what is missing in your life. They, therefore, use the process of personal development as an opportunity and tool to reclaim dreams, transform their lives, and discover ways they can also make a value contribution to the world as well. For them, regular “Conversations for Transformation”, is a solution centred approach to dilemmas, which can turn the page of your life story. Through regular interactive Leadership Coaching and Guidance Counselling, you will soon discover the steps needed to readjust, so you can re-align yourself with your ideals. The process will then grant you the opportunity to change your wilderness around, and create a new story to tell, a legacy to leave behind.
So, in what kind of wilderness do we find you, Right Now?
Tracking regularly through uncharted wilderness terrain in my younger days, has taught me fundamental principles for survival. It not only helped me to get attuned with nature, but also with intuitive development, and understanding of the interconnectedness of everything in life. I also learnt that when you are lost in a wilderness, without a map of the territory, the experience stimulate the worst and the best in the human psyche. It is the one you feed that will prosper. There are several ways in which you can engage real modern-day dilemmas as such transformative experiences. And although experiential dilemmas and trauma unlocks your greater potential as a key to Consciousness, many chose to remain entangled on the web of ignorance, caught in the business of modern comfort-seeking orientated life-styles. Inversely, Transformative Conversations are professional assistance that helps identify what is missing in your life, and the steps needed to readjust to whom you are meant to be. It is more than a casual motivational discourse over a cup of tea, the Transformative process of regular engagement with professional assistance empowers people with skills that enable them to constantly re-align with their ideal life. Life never ceases to have a meaning under any conditions, and even tragic and negative aspects of life points to a purposeful path. As Victor Frankl discovered, through the attitude you adopt towards any predicament, whether pain, death and guilt, or disaster, instead of succumbing to passive acceptance and despair you can turn it into a human achievement. Guided Transformative Learning is more than a shift in one’s thought; it is a shift that fosters Consciousness itself, and cultivates a life-orientation that becomes the fuel to success and happiness. So, when you feel lost in the woods or wilderness of life and don’t know which direction, or what to do, where do you start? Here are a few steps that may help.
1. Start where you are, assess what you got, and determine what needs to be done.
When we feel lost and confused, the innate sense of being out of control indicates that you have lost focus. Remember, when you are out in the wilderness, always find a beacon, or prominent landmark that can guide the direction, especially in uneven terrain. So when you find yourself in a valley, try to get back on a high point. We can also say that, without VISION, or an objective in life, we tend to fall astray and easily get entangled in life’s struggles. But, don’t panic, first observe where you are, go back a few steps, and determine where or how you have lost direction. It is also helpful to identify what it is that have caused the distraction, and look at what can you do to get on your feet again. Sometimes less dramatic steps are needed and answers can be found in front of us, but when we panic or when we are afraid, we lose trust in our own abilities and make bad decisions.
2. When you’ve lost your map - How do you Find Your Way?
Often when we get stranded in difficulties and lose sight of the road forward, our dreams get smothered in stress, and we feel hopeless. Similar than the previous step, but the best action is often less action. Instead of running around in panic and attending to every person’s cents worth of advice, first honour yourself. It is important to align yourself again with your own ambitions and objectives, instead of jumping at any opportune in desperation for survival. It may feel as if you don’t know where you want to go, and as if life has lost all sense of purpose. And yet, when you started out on your journey, you had a sense of purpose and direction. The only thing that happened was a temporary distracting occurrence. What I have discovered is that even during this moment of “lost-ness”, maybe the temporary silence of a pause is the prefect intervention from the Universe to protect you from detours, pain, and even abuse from incompatible companions along the way. It is just a signpost that calls for attention, surrender, and reassessment. So, do the following. Take a deep breath, and as you breathe out let-go of the panic and fear, and accept that you are safe and still on purpose. In the olden days we use to say – don’t get angry at life, count to ten, and breathe again. You can read more about it here:
Then consider the next step.
3. Remember, all is not lost, and neither are you!
Here is the good news. We have an innate protective mechanism that makes us walk around in circles, once we feel lost. That is why the same kind of events, wandering thoughts, people, or even problems will recur in sequence and pattern, and you realise that something is amiss and you are not making progress. It is important to pay attention to the messages that come through people, your surroundings, happenings, and signs, instead of getting lost in translation by trying to figure it all out yourself. We can say that the Universe is trying to get your attention, but we are sometimes simply too busy to notice. It is, however, imperative to be discerning and when messages are disrespectful, not recognizing your talents and abilities, and not seeking your higher good, and needs to be shelved. When encountering difficulties and loss, people generally feel that they have lost their purpose in life, and yet creating continual purpose in what we do, is the meaning of life. Most people don’t understand the value of consciousness or purposeful living, until they experience some trauma or tragedy. For it awakens in us the higher call and realization of the interconnectedness of everything and deeper meaning of life? The search for the meaning of life is a process of self-discovery. You can read more about how you can reconnect with purpose during Chaos here.
Moving forward: Start with where you are, and ask where you want to go.
In all inevitability, if you need to start again, then see this moment in the same light as your initial intention. The basic premise is that we need to choose. If one thing is not working we can choose again, but never stop working towards your goals, ideals, or achieving your dreams. The journey of temporary set-backs may help you clarify whether decisions are consistent with your personality and abilities. And a short break or pause may also be an opportunity to refine your goals, design updated technologies, execute evolved and more mature tasks, and measure your progress. The secret is not to become resentful to life, to become judgmental, overthink circumstances, to panic and blame everything that live and move, just do the work and focus on where and what you want to be. But here are a few cautions. When lost in uncharted and sometimes hostile territory in a dark valley, remain below the sight line. Don’t be too quick to boast about new plans or your steps forward, take it easy, and tread carefully. In the wilderness, when you prepare your meals, smoke can signal something is cooking and will attract scavengers. So keep the flames of the fire going and avoid smoke. The same for smell. Don’t let the fragrance of your delicious meal spread loosely around. Contain it, for it will attract predators, and you really want your delicious offering to be available for your intended target market only. A healer never scatters herbs loosely around, and neither will the wise lightly share wisdom with those not willing to pay for the value you are. Now, with this approach you will soon find yourself congruent with your inner (higher) guidance, and will have new levels of confidence and self-esteem. More details of the immediate steps can be found here:
Find a Mentor.
It is so easy to think we will be able to resolve dilemmas all by ourselves. When, however, we are caught-up, spinning in the mud, it is normal to feel too self-absorbed, and in desperation try and follow the easy way out. The worst you can do is to follow common Facebook advice, for it may feel less frightening and seem like the more acceptable norm, but it may cause you greater harm in the long run. For sometimes, fear indicates the need to take the road less travelled, and most needed for your own healing, growth and empowerment to fulfil your destiny. A spiritual mentor and guidance counsellor, is trained to identify the signs and patterns emerging through the events of life, and will be a valued ally for your journey forward. You can read more about Spiritual Direction and the service provided in my practice here. Please see our website for more details on Transformational Coaching at: http://www.metalifecoaching.co.za/coaching.php.
In Conclusion.
I trust you have found the brief discussion and the links provided beneficial. Should you still feel stuck, lost or confused, the solutions offered by Meta-Life Coaching and the Life Improvement courses presented, are suitable for new adventurous, young entrepreneurs and oldies alike, and can be customised to meet every person’s needs. Book your FREE introductory Life-Coaching assessment session by sending me an email request, or contact Martin on 073 439 9060 to make an appointment.
Trust to hear from you soon.
Dr Martin Brits
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