The search for the meaning of life is a process of self-discovery. “It’s like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.” (Patrick Rothfuss).
OSHO once said, “You will find meaning in life only if you create it. It is a poetry to be composed. It is a song to be sung. It is a dance to be danced”. It is easy to get overwhelmed by uncertainty and stress during difficult times, and when Social Media, News broadcasts, and even daily interaction between family and friends get dominated by conversations of hardship, hopelessness, and chaos eminent in daily lives – life seems to lose its joy, and purpose. Switching off the TV and Radio, and Social Distancing becomes meaningful to maintain your own sanity and peace, and yet the powerless fear of the unknown is an addiction that leads to despair. Living within the reality of any Pandemic that is fraud with Politicians robbing the masses, and the daily threat of our inability to survive the economic curve, are just surface issues of much more that’s influencing our values and perspectives on life. The experience of living in heightened chaos is highly undesirable and has a negative effect on your mental and physical health, it deteriorates the quality of relationships with the people you live and work with, and leaves you feeling disconnected with the greater source of life. But the scenario may change, and in this brief discussion, we hope you may be encouraged to move beyond conversations revolving around chaos and find the inspiration and steps needed to make changes for a wholesome future.
The playing field and blocks that prevent your growth.
Every day comes with new possibilities, and sometimes the darkest times can bring you to the brightest place in your life. Even pain and struggle may gift you with purpose and important growth. To reconnect with a purposeful life amidst chaos, however, may require a new mind-set or perspective on life’s challenges and looking at circumstances from a different angle.
The one thing in life, however, that never changes is change – it happens whether we like it or not. In reality, we all experience a struggle between accepting change and resisting it, trying to make things different and yet feeling an anxious need to keep things the same. This struggle is what makes personal transformation so difficult and when economic uncertainty threatens our survival, it is difficult to make up our minds on how we feel about it, and to do something about it. But it has to start some place, and some time. How can transformation occur if there is no recognition for what needs to change, a vision for a better result, and commitment to see it through. “The new normal”, is a common slogan for our current lifestyles that require change and the need for letting go of a yearning for the utopia of old ways and predictable routines. Instead of hanging on for dear life to something that is already dead, maybe it’s time to go and start reassessing the path forward by opening yourself up to new possibilities, and breathing in new fresh air … without a face mask (hypothetically speaking). While we are encouraged to tap into creativity and find innovative solutions for today’s problems, sometimes we first need to remove interferences in our minds (often learnt in childhood or through social conditioning) that are holding us back from flourishing. But hey, it has to start some-time and some place, and what better chance than now. Here are some believes that may cause you to resist change and prevent you from moving forward.
The Fixed Inflexible Mind vs the Growth Mind-set.
This is part of what leads us to believe that the traits we need to be successful, like being clever, or of certain race or gender, is a fixed trait that is driven by a need to earn acceptance by comparing ourselves to others. It’s quite disheartening to have to continually prove we are good enough. And if there is just a slight chance that we might actually not seem to fit in, we’d rather not do something, not take that chance, and not speak up. Rather not to try and make a mistake, or why even bother I’d rather not show anyone else that I can’t, or so I think … that is until you are willing to explore life differently.
But here is the fact, no-one is going to rescue you, and if that is what you believe, then eventually the cycle will begin again, until you finally realize that you have to do something to move forward. It is said that the person with the most flexibility exercises the most influence in the system. The person with most flexibility, innovation, and ability to alter, and change the course of action controls the greatest outcome. When you first fail, it doesn’t mean you are not good enough, it simply gives you feedback about what doesn’t work with the opportunity to try again. So if someone else has achieved something, then it means the possibility exist that with a different strategy, you also can achieve that same success. It’s about understanding that skills and knowledge are learnt and gained (not given). We can develop ourselves if we just apply ourselves, and improve by persistently putting in the effort to grow.
Comparing Self to Yourself, or Modelling the Excellence you desire.
Driven by the need of approval, we constantly compare ourselves, not to others, but only to ourselves, our own views, and expectations. But, instead of feeling a failure when you look at others that seem to be happy and successful, see them as examples of what is possible. Many of us are limited by what we believe is possible for us to achieve and are then surprised when we pull it off doing something else. People can bring about change by discovering and applying the rich resources available inside, built up from a lifetime’s experience.
The fact is that as we unconsciously learn by modelling behavioural responses, so through role-play we can find alternative models and meanings for the same reality. For if we always do what we’ve always done, we will always get what we’ve always got. And if something doesn’t work, try something else, for the very person whose approval you trying to gain may not be there tomorrow. And the only thing left is for you to start again re-discover who you uniquely are, what works for you and what you really want to achieve in life to feel happy. People have all the internal resources they need to succeed, and when they resist change it only indicate that they have never learnt how to access their own inner resources, but has always measured their the success of their actions by comparing themselves by external feedback, which again is distorted by someone else’s limitations.
Here is the good news: It’s possible to be happy during dilemmas.
It seems that we have forgotten how to play, and are taking life to seriously. Yes, the uncertainty of this time can be very dis-empowering and paralysing, yet there is great opportunity for growth. The question is are you really going after the things you like, and are you creating the life of your dreams, or allowing yourself to be overwhelmed by the threat of the unknown, following the strict rules of society and expectation that others are projecting on to you. Nobody can tell you who you are but yourself, and it is your responsibility to create the reality you really love. Don’t waist this opportunity for growth.
While you may not be able to change historical events in your past that have resulted in much pain happening to you, you have the ability to change your response to similar events, and instead of doing what you’ve always done, to playfully approach it from a different inquisitive angle and discover new possibilities. If you know that, you could do anything you want and nothing “bad” would really happen since it is only another learning opportunity to obtain greater clarity about what is important for you. Then - you have earned greater capacity for joy, and the strength to take purposeful action.
Through a simple yet highly effective tool explained during Coaching Conversations, you will learn that change is a process of play. Dilemmas can, therefore, become meaningful both spiritual and physical. During our Personal Development interactive courses, tools and perspective are presented to you to help you form a new strategy that will help you win the game of life. The Coaching Master-class will help you to discover areas of life you are intentionally (or unintentionally) sabotaging, blocking, over-focusing on, or avoiding, and how this impacts your decisions, goals, and principles underlying your well-being. Proverbially, it is a chance to letting the mask down and allowing yourself to be real, authentic, and discovering the truth, you want to live and experience. Should you like to know more, please visit the website [here].
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Conversations for Transformation, are a publication by Meta-Life Coaching, and focus on Personal and Leadership Development, and the Integration of Spiritual Principles in Training for Human Empowerment & Social Transformation. Should you like to contribute to the Conversations, please Subscribe and also receive our free newsletter and regular special offers conveniently delivered to your inbox. (Subscribe now). Subscribed members can comment on the feed on the blogpost. You can also join the discussion on short summaries posted on Facebook [here].