Dear Meta-Life Community and Friends.
Thank you for being with us through a turbulent year past. I trust as we start our daily routines while most people are back at work, that the year ahead will bring you new direction, encouragement, and inspiration. As you have noticed, this year we are doing things a bit different and have moved our blog-posts and Newsletter additions to a new platform that is easier to access and engage with. It also allows our readers to find previous editions from one location, and enable you to comment on the discussions, or to forward any articles to others who may benefit from subscribing to the newsfeed.
Normally I encourage New Year’s resolutions placed on vision boards and setting intensions for what we endeavour to accomplish at the first Full Moon each year. The radical implications of Covid reminded me that life is about transition and our focus should rather be on taking change as it comes, including lifestyle changes, change in your vocation, sport and entertainment activities, or relationships. Very often that means recognizing the waters of life can sometimes get icky and muddy, and discomfort becomes a messenger to remind us that we have the choice to adapt instead of getting stuck in the muck. Because we live in such results focussed world, challenges often dampen your focus and New Year's resolutions, and dreams is placed on the shelf for another year, until we back to normal, so they say. At Meta-Life Coaching, we encourage a different approach, not to get stuck at unfulfilled ambitions, rather to focus on how you approach this year ahead, whether facing difficulties, or preventing dreams to become bygones. The key to a better experience of life is unlocked in your view of, and orientation towards life. And when we formulate a new or different definition of this thing called life, this new framework of mind allows us to remain focussed on the journey, and not to strive to reach your destination. Let me tell you more.
Why do I write these posts?
When my life went for a loop and all my castles in the air collapsed for my career, my position in society, relationships, financial resources, faith and even my connection to my inner-self, I faced an existential crisis. Very similar than facing a pandemic, soon my goals and dreams faded away and momentum for great exploits was lost. In my turmoil, I started questioning my core values and purpose in life. Those days Professional Coaching, especially Spiritual Guidance outside the Church was rare. But in my quest to rediscover what matters most, life took me outside the box and to the most unlikely Schools of Life, and two great Mentors that guided me back on track.
Why do I share this with you now? Simply because I have found some solutions that can really transform your life. Or you can listen to your peers doing the same old, same old, and not really delivering concrete steps that will help you break out of the dark places in your life, and carry on waiting for everything to return to normal. And yet, you can move with inspiration towards your new goals in life without doubting yourself. That is to say if you trust me by sharing your hopes and inspirations, dreams and interests in life. And you need to know that you are safe in being vulnerable and open in our conversations, for it remains confidential and respectful. It is my position to listen very carefully, to connect the fragmented pieces of your story into a bigger picture to help you find direction and inspiration for your life. I believe that every human being has the potential to thrive to greatness, and reach his or her optimal potential without having to go through the same old, same old school of perineal degrading thought that says you ought to be, should be, or must be, etc. If that really worked, then why is the world in desperate need of intervention? Something has gone horribly wrong – and I will show you exactly how to avoid the pitfalls.
What works best - New Year’s resolutions, or re-defining your view on life?
While news of further pandemic impediments run amok on Social Media and Community Networks, it is not strange that people feel increasingly vulnerable and protective over themselves and their loved ones. But isolation also causes great social disconnection and anxiety, and the added stormy weather alike the economic challenges we face, also contributes to disconnection with our personal sense of value, purpose and spiritual direction in life. But being in such a vulnerable position is not necessarily weakness. Yes, it reveals the areas in your life where you feel less competent and also make you feel less comfortable to freely speak about personal insecurities and fear. But by being vulnerable about who and what you are, truthful about the challenges you face, and being open about areas where you feel less confident is actually an act of great courage.
“Life is a moving, breathing thing. We have to be willing to constantly evolve. Perfection is constant transformation.” (Nia Peeples).
Because we are so focussed on instant results, personal fulfilment is often confused for success, mostly measured by a big bank balance, and accumulated possessions. And that is why many seek instant solutions from their counsel as well – tell me how I can quickly fix my life so that I can live in my mansion ever after. But this is not how success is built either, for success is a progressive realisation of a worthy ideal. It is a constant changing and evolving process, not a destination. Yes, to be open and vulnerable about those ideals and your struggles to make it real, even to close- friends, remain an emotional risk when you perceive openness as exposure of your weaknesses and shame. Although decisions for the future remain uncertain, the sense of being vulnerable does not reflect an inability to move forward and accomplish your dreams. In fact, the ability to be open and vulnerable is the most accurate reflection of your earnest desire for change, the courage to address discomfort, and speaks of tenacity to engage with the difficult process that will bring healing, growth and fulfilment. Vulnerability and openness unlocks the prison of shame of perceived lack of success, and open you up for new possibilities for a better satisfying future.
"Surrender is faith that the power of love can accomplish anything... even when you can not foresee the outcome." (Deepak Chopra).
One way to navigate the turbulences of e.g. loneliness, sadness, depression and desperation, or hopelessness, is through transformative conversations that avoid getting lost in data overwhelm, or information overload. Rather, Conversations for Transformation and Spiritual Direction focusses on interactive reflective discussions that seek to discover your greatness, seeing the bigger picture for your life, and inspire empowered action with the correct tools that will bring you joy and courage in the midst of vulnerable situations. Now of-course, there are those that would like to be classified as a perceived failure, broken and irreparable, unlovable and undesirable. And of-course we would love to have that “psychic reading” that would pin-point the secret steps towards the goblet of gold at the end of the desired rainbow that does not leave you feeling incomplete. But no-matter how temporarily inspiring a reading may be, without proper enabling, it still leaves you empty-handed without the tools needed to even find your dream, never mind making it a reality.
In today’s World of data overwhelm, clear practical and relevant guidance is not easily accessible where the obscured protagonists endeavour to give quick step solutions for any dilemma. With the aim to make themselves look more impressive, while they only seek to accumulate a rah-rah crowd following, the superficial quick steps given often leave you empty handed, and feeling more vulnerable than before. And yet, deep seated truths and solutions to problems and the pain and shame experienced by many are not obtained through a quick YouTube video, or six-step action plan for change to achieve your goal of success. But these insight Guru’s already lost you halfway, have they not, or is it just me that auspiciously wonder how the pundit skipped some steps here, while marvelling at their prosperous and joy-filled life? The problem is that reality is often mislooked with their one-fits-all solutions for every unique situation, and yes, it often requires more than a quick once-off coaching consultation to gain clarity for the future, is it not? People want to be positive in the world without the need to reflect and learn from mistakes in order to alter the way you had always tried to achieve success. But if you always do what you’ve always done and it left you feel defeated and needy, then being open and vulnerable about the situation is the starting point to find new innovative solutions, or creative ideas that will transform your situation, and make you feel apt and in control again.
There is more to Life than a Pandemic – Time to rethink the way we look at it!
Now, we can approach the future from a sense of loss, hopelessness, and despair, and allow fear to override common sense and perspective. Or we can approach the current pandemic situation as a form of tie-break, like a cross-roads, and an opportunity to reassess where you are, re-evaluate your own sense of purpose, value and meaning, and to determine what your options are for the future. Deep Conversations for Transformation questions our definition of meaningful relations, activities, and the way we measure productivity and success. It asks what it is that you want to achieve, consider worthwhile, and value. For that will determine the underlying motivation for the decisions you make, and what you will be willing to spend time and money on to accomplish. Right now in the current economic climate most people have fears about the future. For it calls for a new way of thinking, being and doing. And we also know that the collective has been expectant with a yearning for awakening to guide humanity into a new paradigm for life. We already have a profoundly different sense of how we relate to family, friends, and our communities. Instead of focussing on loss, it enables you to show-up, to be adaptable, and find solutions wherein you and those you serve can thrive. Want to know why people get stuck and can’t move forward? Let me explain the process of transformation, and how you can find what matters most, and have a breakthrough experience.
The things that normally hold us back from experiencing breakthroughs in our dilemmas, and finding joy in our living experience are mostly the vulnerabilities that we fear to face. But what we actually fear is our own power and greatness, and it is the task and role of the Spiritual Director and Transformational Coach to guide you into that new reality. The reason that we often get stuck and can’t move forward is because we hold-on to ideals of the perfect path, not the dream, but the way it is meant to unfold. This kind of attitude you have when approaching difficult circumstances will determine the inevitability to find new solutions, opportunities, and ultimately happiness. Being vulnerable and letting go of old paradigm thinking of what security is meant to be, opens the way for new insights, and a new life-path to emerge. Peter Senge, et al. in the book “Presence”, explores how profound change at all levels can occur by being present in the midst of difficulties. Instead of resistance, the process encourages us to surrender and flow, to merge with difficulties, and to allow the inner guidance to surface out of chaos with suitable solutions. Here is my version called, The Eye of the Needle, often used during Conversations for Transformation.
Original Source (ammended): Senge, P; Scharmer, C.O; Jaworski, J; & Flowers, B.S. 2005. PRESENCE: Exploring Profound Change in People, Organisations, and Society. London: Nicholas Brealey.
Finding something to live for is critical during times of difficulty. It is this yearning that motivates us and energizes how we animate our lives and transforms challenges into triumphs. What it entails is the surrender of our thinking quarrelling with ourselves, God, the world etc. and learning to be present in the struggle. From being available and allowing the rising awareness of the needs in the world, to guide your decisions. That is if we can resist striving for our own comfort and convenience during the discomfort - that holds the key to compassions and return of a fulfilling happy life. By being present in the moment allows us to realise your own presence as the answer, the gift, dreams and talents that you bring to life as a unique combination that needs to be explored and developed, to become the new path that unfolds as a living field of possibilities. And it all starts by being vulnerable, letting go of the insecurities, and being open to new ideas and perspectives. Imagine how the clarity, certainty, and significance of your life achieved through your personal growth and spiritual development can transform your work environment and relationships. And it all starts with the non-judgmental and sensitive listening of your Guide, Coach, or Counsellor, that simply facilitate your journey home without objectifying the end.
You have read this far, then you will now also realize that you have a strong desire to see and experience a shift, or breakthrough in your life, is it not? Now more than likely you would have already listened to the inner critic that came up with all the excuses in the world why you should not make changes in your life, right now. And I recognise that there is this part in you that is uncertain and desires the best for your life. The problem is that we are looking for things (conditions), before we do that. When I look back at my life-path, all I have accomplished, and all the experiences that have enriched my life, then a good portion of time, in fact a third of my life, was wasted waiting for things to fall in place. Postponing that important decision, studies, adventures, and investments etc. simply because I have doubted myself, and fell trap to others dictating their expectations, rather than following my intuition.
Now here is my advice to the younger me and to you. You have one life, and if you wait for somebody else to prepare a meal before you get hungry – you will starve. Now if you are not certain if that dream in your heart, or interest you have is ideal for you, take the first step. You will never know what is next if you are not prepared to initiate your own journey. And here is my invitation to you, if you uncertain that the benefit that Transformational Coaching provides is suitable to help resolve your problem or struggles, then book a free introductory session, sending me an email request, and we will explore the situation and how best I can assist you. Don’t wait, book now!
“The Practice of Presence is about making a new start by coming alive to this present moment, wherever we are, without changing our conditions. It is in the present that we will find meaning and heal the wounds caused by hate, violence and suffering” …. In practicing paying attention to your own presence, “we can learn to look in a new way to everything that comes toward us, the demands, the seductions, the possibilities for joy and nurture”. (Patty de Llosa).
Finally: Upcoming Events and Special offers.
The Meta-Life Coaching model takes multiple transformational approaches towards Person-centred Transformative Coaching and Counselling. Whether overcoming personal struggles, reaching goals, or for Spiritual Direction; our training solution can be customized to your need and budget. Different price packages are offered as described on the website (here - Coaching Fees), and special discounts are extended for online long-term engagements in Transformative Coaching and Spiritual Guidance Counselling. And yes by working with me, you will gain clarity and direction for your life and together we will work on the best strategies to improve, whatever you are working on, or struggling with in your life. During Covid limitations we will remain open to assist, we can meet in person, or online, for short consultations, and long-term engagements. Our Coaching, Counselling and training solutions are all available online and through Skype, Google Meet, or Zoom, as blended distance learning that does not require complicated online platforms to gain the knowledge and the clarity you require, but utilize trusted delivery of guided teachings directly to your inbox.
Thank you for reading and participating in Conversations for Transformation. We will have more views and discussions soon.
For more info contact, Dr. Martin Brits (D.Div; M.Min.RE; PGDHE).
At Cell. 073 439 9060, or email, martin@metalifecoaching.co.za.