What did you discover during difficult times?
Difficult experiences can open opportunity for transformation and growth, how did it affect you?
What have you discovered about yourself during difficult times?
Desperate times sometimes call for desperate means. Well, that would be the compelling thought if your life is driven by the fear of survival and a ‘survival of the fittest’ worldview. I wonder how much did lockdown restrictions, and the consequences of loss experienced by many over the last year especially, made people really re-evaluate their lives. Whether due to dismissals due to businesses scaling down, and inability to secure income, the escalation of uprisings, natural disasters, and the tragedy of losing a loved one due to illness. But what do you do to recover and grow through these events? When the only moral response would be to step back, reassess, and re-strategize the path forward, many have also missed the window of opportunity to empower themselves for a better future, and gave up hope and ambitions. The fact is that the majority of people today will only consider things like self-improvement and education, if there are prospects of Capital Gains, the old axiom of Return on Investment? They will ask, does it land you the next best job, improve your career position, and move you up the financial ladder? But what if there are no guarantees. Here is my take on learning. How much did it change your life, and what improvement can be detected in your personal understanding of self, your significance in the world, and the way you purposefully interact with life? Maybe, through all the turmoil, you have realized that the way we live and function creates unnecessary social distancing, instead of building community and unity. Maybe our orientation in life focuses too much on self-gain and comfort, instead of upskilling and raising the standard of joyful living, for you as well as those who’ve been neglected and ignored for years. And maybe we should appreciate more the importance of values identified during tough times, such as family, friendship, compassion and care, community sharing and service to others. After the dust settles, what is important, however, is who you decide to become.
"The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be." (Ralph Waldo Emerson).
As we journey through life, basically growing-up and finding our feet, figuring out who and what we are and want to be, or what kind of career I want to pursue, and what needs to be done to create the life and relations I desire, we sometimes need a bit of help and guidance, if we humble enough to acknowledge. Before the turn of the century, growing up was much easier and more fulfilling. Getting advice and finding guidance to deal with life’s challenges was also uncomplicated, for life seemed to be more simple, and well-defined. Family and Social life revolved around community engagement, and Counsellors that can offer guidance was also accessible through the Church, Religious, or School community and even accessible within sport and recreational networks, for experts were part of the group. It was rarely needed to seek professional consultants. But as technology evolved, so did individual and community interests. Life became more stressful and greater demands were placed on the younger generation to gain direction in a world and with a language that their predecessors could not fathom. Not only were their differences in group identity, worldview, health matters, and sexual orientation, but new legalities that support a more humane individualistic society, also required a renewed paradigm to engage with what we call “life”.
With the fragmentation of cultural traditions and political structures, and by uprooting structured colonialism, some feel they have no longer a framework to live for. New sub-identities also emerged in virtual associations that do not require effort and commitment to meet, and provided an avenue for fast track transmutation that morphed and shape-shifted with the trends of time without making followers feel depraved of significance. For this is the new generation of life, somewhere lost in the matrix of the city. Even the way businesses operate, and with a sub-connotation to hippie-spirituality, the quick-fix outlook of a fast track life, and values evolved causing am rupture of greater family disarray, break-down of long-term relationships, and disappearance of reliable committed friendships, elders and mentors. If only we know where next, and what to do, and how to escape this anxious unease that make anyone hope that maybe all this is just a dream? And yet, what if this is the birth of the apocalypse, and tomorrow we will be no more. Maybe this is exactly what we need, the birth of a new future, and a new earth, and how will you prepare and move ahead? Or will you remain behind, immersed in the revolution that is geared only to destroy itself? Does this make you wonder if life still has a purpose or not? Now, if our current existence is devoid of real depth and meaning, does it not stand to reason to rather embrace change, and to choose to purposefully create a life that has value?
Victor Frankl, a psychiatrist who survived the Holocaust, saw the absolute extremes of human cruelty. For him man should not ask what meaning life can provide for you, but rather that we need to recognize that it is life asking you what you really want? When tragedy, trauma, challenges and a pandemic comes knocking on your door, how will you answer the call? During the awakening of the 70’s and 80’s, people searched for answers that lead to a renaissance in Spirituality and the Fourth Industrial revolution. In strong hippie-like fashion, young people embraced the transformational movement in an attempt to create a better future devoid of despots and twists in nuclear political agendas – not that it ever materialized has it not? Frankl outlined three specific things that give life meaning, if we ever wanted to escape the tragedies of the past. Firstly, creating a work we enjoy, or doing a charitable deed that improve human existence; secondly by experiencing something out of the ordinary, or encountering some influential person that inspire change, which lead to the rise of popular transformational workshops and encounter groups surfacing. And lastly, by learning how to change our attitude and approach toward unavoidable suffering, and in identifying the underlying message, we learn to embrace the transition it bestows, and find meaning therein. However, this movement is often met with a resistance that demand the return of the new normal, or by a disengaged entitled rage that earmark the entitled individualistic new millennium that wants to stand by itself. And without having a manifesto to create a stable platform and give direction for life, the whole revolution just hang in virtual existence without providing meaningful interaction and the communal support society so desperately long for. And although each person’s life has its own unique, context-specific implication – meaning to life is only found by creating, by experiencing, and by choosing to actively engage, and the value added responses we demonstrate. It is we, and not events, who must give events, or experience its significance. Or do you want to agree with Sartre, that there is no objective, all-encompassing meaning of life? But even Sartre did not believe we swim in a sea of meaninglessness, but our actions create a meaning to life, and that meaning is whatever those actions define it to be.
I believe that life is full of meaningful answers that are flowing to and through us, in the stories we create. It’s like a sensible dance with symbolic patterns, rhythms, and rhyme, like a melody that guide the dance, in the quest to find our essence, and signifying something beyond the known. Life is meant to be lived. Yet, life is not meant to be idealistically easy either, or without obstacles. Neither does it say that there is something 'wrong' with you when life presents you with the gift, any challenge brings. The human journey will take you through those ups and downs, many twists and turns, and when you face seemingly dead ends, this is an invitation to embrace change, engage more, invite more, explore new vistas, to break through and go beyond, to find the part of you been neglected and not yet experienced, or sometimes needs some reformation. Life is like an eternal guide, coaching you to attempt more, to be more, and to give more. Although we have lost meaningful community engagements, and through that much-needed access to older, knowledgeable mentors at our disposition, there are still professionals that fulfil that task. A Life-Coach is someone who helps people to move forward and reach personal and professional objectives. As a wellness professional, they help people make progress in their lives in order to attain greater fulfilment, whether in relationships, careers, or personal management. They do this through reflective questions, helping to create strategic actions, encouraging and guiding people through specific challenges to reach certain milestones. Transformative Coaching focuses on the process of the transition instead of just one specific goal that needs to be reached. It doesn’t focus on one recipe you need to follow to e.g. find your ideal partner, or to be a better sales person. While Transformational Coaching still have specific outcomes that gives direction for the sessions, the process focuses on the person’s overall development and the necessary skills that needs to be acquired, the transformation the person needs to go through, to be the results they seek, and is not so much to procure the results.
Don’t let difficult times limit the potential of your future.
Whether traversing through the challenges of Covid, or in the aftermath of Natural Disaster, Riots, and Loss, are we willing and able to re-assess the meaning of our lives, and to redress, and plan the path of recovery forward? In the reflective mirrors of life, it is important to look at the collective reflective stories society is telling us about ourselves? This often made me wonder why so many get stuck in obtaining their goals, and if individually we are maybe not willing to evolve and develop at the same rate Technology is advancing, or are we able to really adapt to the new virtual world. What if something is amiss and we are so busy chasing results that we forgot to be quite and tune in to our own inner radio station that’s screaming so load about loneliness, anxiety, feelings of disconnection, and the need to find direction and meaning for life? The new normal imposes new systems of relating, communicating, and functioning. It is not just a matter anymore of just adjusting lifestyles by eating healthier, being more active, and exercising to promote longevity and coping better with stress. No longer can the new emerging culture, as tradition dictates, focus on economic investment and retirement plans, or on building a comfortable inheritance for our children. Radical climate and economic changes has forced many to reassess priorities. We can in all sincerity ask whether we as a human race really have evolved and adapted to the conditions of our time, or have we created an isolated little bubble that is not in touch with reality, but have rather cultivated a nihilistic race that have only short-term convenience, and wealth at the forefront of their minds? Challenges become the catalyst for true reflection, introspection and improved corrective self-knowledge that leads to spiritual maturity, and promote a Consciousness life adjustment. This kind of orientation can then be a new source of inspiration and hope during difficult times, and builds community cohesion that foster Social Transformation amidst times of uncertainty. In this context, just think about it - What are the possibilities for your future?
Conversations for Transformation (Online, or In-Person) are an opportunity to discuss what matters most. During regular interaction, you can discover possibilities for your future. Transformative Counselling and Coaching addresses issues never discussed at home. When we disclose e.g. the disturbing effects of trauma and anxiety experienced during life, and work through these transitions, it provides opportunity to declutter distractions, to gain clarity, and restores emotional well-being. When life doesn’t seem to be beautiful anymore and if there is no great future for you ... you don’t have to face despair. You may feel at loss, hurt, and need help? Don’t get stuck there - see the light again and enjoy life.
Following an holistic approach to mental wellness through Life-Coaching and Spiritual Guidance, or Transpersonal Counselling, my work combine Strategic Management principles with integrated metaphysical (spiritual) values to help you find the solutions you seek. You can read more about Transformational Coaching on our website at: https://www.metalifecoaching.co.za.
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